Today on the blog we are talking about how to get over the post wedding blues.
But first, how is it Novemember already? Here at Desi Bride Dreams I can’t quite believe where the year has gone! As a team we have now completed our weddings for 2017 and what a phenomenal year it has been!
It has been such an amazing year for Desi Bride Dreams Asian wedding planning with a fully booked summer and destination weddings on the horizon for 2018 – we are beyond excited!
Today, we wanted to talk about post wedding blues. Being a bride myself I know exactly what this entails and yes it’s true, the post wedding blues are a real thing, and it’s probably more common than you think. When I got married back in 2015 (you can read my wedding blog post here) I felt as an Asian woman and bride I had to go undergo a lot of changes. I firstly had to move out of my hometown where I had spent 29 years of my life (excluding university) with my parents and move to a city where I literally knew no one! It was tough, I really missed my friends and family. However, I was really fortunate because I didn’t have to return back to work as I knew I would be officially launching my Asian wedding planning and coordination business, so I had a focus.
The first year was hard, I am not going to lie – my home town is about 1.5 hour drive away and my in laws are around 2 hours so I had no family or friends nearby. Although, here is the beauty of it, I knew I wanted to build a life on my terms and do what I wanted, where I wanted. I am now so proud to say that Desi Bride Dreams is a successful wedding planning and coordination company, so I now have the luxury of going to visit my parents whenever I want and I don’t have to wait until the weekends. I could talk about entrepreneurship and business forever but that’s not the purpose of this blog post, the purpose is to help you get over those post wedding blues.
Image via Salshan
After the excitement of planning your wedding has died down, Asian brides may sometimes feel deflated and have a sense of sadness or boredom. Remember, you have just undergone a huge milestone in your life, so you’re bound to feel some anxiety about all the new changes coming about as a newly wed Asian bride. It is really common, especially when there is a new family such as the in laws to consider and even a location change. Considering that couples spend on average about 250 hours planning their big day, it’s to be expected that afterwards they’ll be wondering “what next?…”
Here are our top 7 tips to deal with post wedding blues.
1. SHIFT YOUR PERSPECTIVE – Remember, you got married so that you could spend the rest of your life with that special person you love and create new memories together. You’ve got all the images and videos to look through so you can relive your big day whenever you want, but don’t sit around wallowing about the fact that it’s over. Start focusing on the future. Whether it’s moving into a new house, redecorating the home you have, starting a family or planning a new adventure, there’s bound to be something to look forward to after your wedding.
2. ORGANISE YOUR NEW LIFE – This is the perfect time to de-clutter and start this new chapter of your life feeling refreshed. Get rid of everything you don’t want or need anymore and replace it with all the gifts that you may have got from the wedding. It’s the perfect excuse to go out with your husband and buy new things together that compliment both your styles. I remember when I got married back in 2015 (you can read the blog post here) I really focused on making myself feel at home in our brand new home. I spent hours and hours unpacking my suitcase and buying new things for our house looking for interior inspiration in countless magazines and department stores.
3. WORK THROUGH YOUR POST-WEDDING TO-DO LIST – This follows on from our previous point, but this time I am referring to all the boring admin type stuff. Things like changing your name on your driving license, letting banks know of these changes and possibly if you’ve changed address as well. These things can take time, so it’s best if you get started on them as soon as possible. Thank-you notes is another thing that can be tedious but so worthwhile. Letting your guests and suppliers know of your appreciation in a little note can mean so much to the people that receive them, so it’s definitely worth taking the time to do these. Another chance to relive the excitement of your wedding celebrations is to go through all the photos from the big day and choose what you’d like printed and put in your wedding album. Again, this is something you can do while spending some quality time with your hubby and is a great way to ease you out of the post wedding blues.
4. FIND A NEW PASSION – You’ve probably spent the past year of your life balancing your time between work and wedding planning, and if you’re lucky, somewhat of a social life! But let’s face it, planning your big day became a pastime and if there was nothing more important to think about then you were probably crossing the t’s and dotting the i’s to create the perfect wedding. Now that that’s all over, you need to find yourself a new hobby; something you can be just as passionate about, but hopefully involving much less stress! For me, I started my Asian wedding planning and coordination business and I officially launched it 4 months after our wedding which was fantastic for me as I focused all of my attention on that and this immediately got rid of any post wedding blues!
5. DO SOMETHING NEW AS A COUPLE – Once again, this links to my previous point, and is just as important. Find something to do as a couple that you didn’t do before. After all, you have just begun a new chapter in your life, and what better way to move forward than to experience new things as a couple. Whether it’s planning a date night every week, organising a movie night or joining a dance class together, find something you can have fun with and that allows you to spend time, just the two of you, on a regular basis.
6. SEEK COMFORT IN YOUR HUSBAND – You may overlook this one because you don’t want to upset your husband or worry him about anything, but if anyone is going to understand what you’re going through, it’s him. He’s been with you every step of the way through your wedding planning journey, and although he may not show it, he may also be going through some form of post wedding blues. So, confide in each other because you’ll probably know exactly the right thing to say and it’s better to get through the blues together than on your own.
7. BUILD NEW RELATIONSHIPS WITH YOUR NEW FAMILY – As an Asian woman and bride, I know how important family is within the Asian culture and there is more pressure to be the good daughter in law and of course, wife. However this does have its benefits! You have effectively been given a new family which is your husband’s side of the family. Take some time to build those relationships with your in-laws, husband’s cousins etc. That will ensure that you feel more settled with your new family and stop you thinking about any post wedding blues and besides its so exciting to develop new relationships! Plan a dinner, night out or even coffee and build a new life together.
Thank you so much for reading! If you would like any information on our Asian wedding planning or coordination packages then email firstname.lastname@example.org or head on over to www.desibridedreamsplanning.co.uk
Feature image via Bhavna Barratt